Whack-A-'Munk, Paint-aminophen

For her 2nd birthday recently, I registered at Amazon for a Whack-A-Mole board game by Mattel. She saw it at Target one time and I had to hold her up to the shelf to use their demo version until my arms fell off. I promised her we would put it on her birthday list. Now, I know she's 2 and wouldn't remember 5 minutes later, and would never know if I had actually put it on her list, but why start deceiving her on the little stuff, when there's loads of bigger issues that will come up where my lies would be better served. I even saw it later at Toys R Us on clearance for around $5! I was about to snap it up when I realized - I don't want this stupid thing in my home. Why would I do this to myself?

Well, Gramma Barp to the rescue! She won't let my baby down! She knows SHE won't be on the receiving end of Z's newly-created 'Whack-A-Mommy' game. SHE won't be the one kissing scratches after an aborted attempt at 'Whack-A-Kitty.' And SHE won't be the one without any working AA batteries in the house the day Z wants to open it, and can only find some questionably used ones that turn out not to work and make the game go 'Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh' endlessly in an annoying, loud, high-pitched mole-y voice. (Supposed to say 'Heeeere Moley moley moley!') The day after her party she demanded that the box be opened (I'm SO glad she was too overwhelmed with dollies at her party, since toddlers with bats is not my idea of a good time!) Much 'Its BROKEN! Lights broken mommy! Waaah!' ensues. I bust into my 'emergency' battery stash (removed from my neglected, dust-covered 'personal massager' in a drawer so unused that my pile of worldly goods cluttering the floor had to be cleared to even get it open.) That's right. I put skeevy batteries in my baby's toy! I'm THAT kind of mom!

So, now that it works, she takes out some toddler aggression on it. Periodically she rediscovers it and obnoxiousness ensues! Well, today, she gathers all of her Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 Happy Meal toys from her room and dumps them in my lap. They have annoying little chipmunk voices, and when you press their 'hair' they chirp some little saying from the movie. My little smart-ass stands them on her Whack-A-Mole board and uses her Whack-A-Mole bat to whack them. I'm ashamed to say this was a proud, proud Mommy moment for me. Until she remembered her old stand-by, Whack-A-Mommy.

When hitting me no longer paid off (I took her bat,) she climbed in my lap and grabbed the Infant Tylenol I had by my monitor from the recall when I went online to get a refund. Now we have a firm rule that medicine is NOT a toy, and don't let her handle the bottles in a casual manner, whether or not they are child-resistant. But as I opened my mouth, I realized that I was going to dump it down the sink anyway, she could have the empty bottle to give medicine to her dollies. Now, my husband and I disagree on this point, but I win, since he's not here. He argues that giving her a bottle to play with will reinforce her belief that medicine IS a toy. I argue that I emphasize that her empty BOTTLES are toys and NOT medicine anymore, but that she can pretend they have medicine for her dollies. We also decorate them, and I tell her we do this so we will know that they AREN'T medicine. She hasn't seemed any more confused than she is about the dolly's bottles and pacifiers.

So I invite her to help me wash out the bottle, which she enjoys. She paints and splatters the bathroom sink with lavender sludge. She uses the squirt dropper and shakes the bottle around (it has a drip-resist thing in the bottle neck, which makes pouring it out harder, but if you shake it sideways, its slings it out in a nice little arc across the sink.) She was very good about not reaching in to the sink to get any on her fingers. I didn't even have to tell her not to. I told her that this medicine had gone bad and was not good anymore so we were throwing it away. After her little APAP Pollock project, we got out her sticker collection and she chose Abby Cadabby stickers to decorate the bottle for her dollies. Big Pooh got a dose of his 'tummy meh-nen' then off to watch some Disney Sing-Along Pooh before crashing asleep in her chair 5 seconds after rejecting my suggestion that we go lie down for her nap. Nuts. I forgot to feed her lunch.